nahsil's Xanga

sabbatical over!

Mon, 01 Oct 2007 00:02:33 GMT

big fat snigger

hold your horses, the shit is about to hit the fan.
this thing looks to be revived, or on some other host..
watch this space.

up up and away

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 14:09:10 GMT

bye!

there will be a new site soon.. you know i probably can't stay off spewing random thoughts for too long. am leaving xanga behind because, well.. for someone who doesn't have a way with (spoken) words, writing is my freedom, as i'm sure many of you would identify. true to my inner nomad, i've been here long enough to feel boxed in, and many times, infringed on.. so it's time to move.

please email me if you'd like to be kept in the loop! sorry la like i'm such a big deal like that.. che where got
or when the site actually happens.. i might post it back up here. it's been a good 4 years. muaaaarrrrrhhh

have not

Wed, 23 May 2007 00:09:27 GMT

been doing the blogging thing of late, because it's pointless being cryptic. kind of shying away from being exhibitionist as well (tempering my streak! haha), so not that many photos either. should i even apologize? heh. i think this is the 3rd or 4th time i've said i was gonna do this, but i'm really thinking of stopping blogging altogether. that, or moving to some other site.. maybe not.

i have a great life. so damn great that when i write about it i feel like i'm boasting. and i don't really wanna do that. and when i start whining, i feel like i shouldn't have any reason to whine whatsoever. and the truth is, in real life, i am one hugeass whiner because sometime shit happens and it can get a bit overwhelming so i, uh, start whining. ironically, it's logging onto xanga and starting to type a rant that gives me a little perspective, and all i can say is thank God for the backspace key and the back button.

right now M and i are trying to figure out what "no balls" is in hokkien; how are we this useless?!

i had an existentialist crisis once, and then i resolved it by deciding that not everything in life needed to have a point. but now increasingly when i do things or want to do them there's the question of whether my activities of choice are meaningless. but honestly, after pondering for about 5minutes, all i can think of is that i can't wait to grow up and get busier so i won't have the time to think about shit like that.

more and more, i feel that education, while essential, is terribly overrated. more often than not it makes a lot of us arrogant pricks, at some point in time or another.. all the time for some. random late night insomniac thought, sorry.

maybe i'm blogging because i handed in my last assignment for the semester, though class continues for the next month or so. i'm now also a published writer, and work continues till i leave for new york so it's not scot-free for me just yet. i don't wish it though, writing gives me a chance to get out more. my base state, i've realised, is pretty sedentary.. unhealthily so. i'm practically married to my macbook pro and am actually pretty fine with staying under my quilts and not stepping out all day. i think next year i have to live near a park. random thought again... but it has much to do with my antisocial tendencies.

if i had enough cash in my bank acct, i would be off to arnhem in the netherlands for the fashion biennale. 10,000 sq m of city transformed into fashion paradise, watch me salivate and die.

i realise that this post is quite morose. so, on a brighter note, i'm headed back to good ol' brown for the time of my life this thursday and i am so excited that i'm irritating. and when i get back, the other M, my darling M, will be here.

that, and i'm in love with a fabulous man. a rare pipsqueak from my normally uneffusive impersonal self.

okay! off to write more stuff.. the work never ends.

obligatory photo for you lazy asses who always bug me for them because you don't want to read:

haha

Wed, 09 May 2007 23:55:38 GMT

of all the times i choose to blog, i choose the night (morning of) my technical terms exam. typical. as the screen turns a little blurry and my eyes cross from overcaffeination, i'm trying to remember how to define A-line, bias-cut, gussets and minaudieres.. technically. what about a leg-of-mutton sleeve?

for the very first time ever maybe last week or so, i felt like i was so done with school and entirely ready to work.. and it wasn't brought on by me not liking my course or anything -i love it to bits- which surprised me as much as relieved me, since i've always had the sneaking suspicion that i was destined to be an eternal student.. part of my whole escapism deal.. character flaw ;) i suppose it's just like how i miss good ol' brown (beloved pvd in T-14) so bloody much but london in many ways is moving on and moving up. but knowing me, 1 week into work (come this time next year) i'm totally gonna be like sitting on my couch (if i even have one in what i envision to be my £40-a-week zone-4 bedsit that i'll probably have to share with a bunch of crackwhores) shutting my eyes willing myself to wake up from the nightmare that is real life. but of course it won't happen and then i'll just walk out to the kebab van and buy greasy refried onion rings and a juicy kebab as sweet sweet escapism. yes!

heavenly time at oxford with G, I and who else but my darling MEL who bought truckloads of junk for us to gorge our faces to season 3 of grey's. who now doesn't cook on high heat because she has learned patience, who makes a mean bowl of noodles, who pranced around the field in trinity like a loony and who walked hand in hand with me around the campus such that we looked like a pair of right lesbians. oh and who did everything in between.

i am

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 22:26:37 GMT

in bologna, home of spaghetti bolognese.

actually i dont even know if that is true, but by tomorrow evening i will be montecatini, the birthplace of the italian language and also home of the prada staff warehouse. those 2 facts i know are true. am in bologna for the lineapelle leather and accessories trade fair, which is perhaps (to me) the most interesting, enduring part of fashion and one of the most substantial- hurrah for narrowing down potential options for my future. the business of it is pretty damn cool and i would write more about it if not for the fact that it's 1.30am and i have to be up at 7.30.. and also there's a hairy burly italiano pacing behind me muttering and waiting to use the internet. maybe next time- it's been a while since i've blogged something good and honestly that makes me feel a bit of a flooze.

baci grande grande!

(baci is not the chocolate brand. it means kiss.)

not much to

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 10:01:28 GMT

say except that i get unnerved by logging onto my site and being greeted first thing by a self-taken picture of myself smiling right at me. the novelty of my new hair is wearing off - but chaaaanks for the compliments! am contemplating keeping it like that for a long long time. i seriously am blogging about my hair now.. god help us all.

last week of the easter holiday.. on hindsight i could ahve used it better but hey couldn't we all. i have spent it cultivating a taste for kidney stone-inducing sourness and saltiness by way of marinated anchovy fillets and fizzy strawberry lances. my insides are shrivelling so if you come to my funeral and see me all shrivelled and pruney you know why. sometimes i swig some yakult or vitasoy in a valiant attempt to neutralize whatever nonsense i ingest.. yup, lish's guide to healthy living. it was condensed milk before! now it's succulent anchovies. rock and a hard place, devil and the deep blue sea, i'm waiting for the day that i get addicted to raw spinach.

speaking of waiting for the day, i'm also waiting for the day where i will wake up one morning and decide to run. or do crunches, truly believing that i'm doing myself a huge favour. all girls seem to have that phase. i've been waiting for my phase since i was 18.

in good news to some and bad news to others, it looks likely that i will be in nyc this summer, which of course miss charmaine chua has prematurely revealed on my tagboard (you know i love you). this all depends on my visa approval, because y'know, i'm international and shit (= bottom feeder), but the process has begun so fingers crossed. here's to conglomerates, leather goods, lagerfeld, italians and (hopefully) being paid in kind. molto molto brillante!

so lethargic it's a chore to put my jeans on.. give me 4 hours of good sleep than 8 shitty ones any effin' day! and happy birthday to you shawty ;) hey fiddy you hot!

new season new hair (unabashed photowhore)

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 12:46:07 GMT

gimme some of that delicious spring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and may all semblance of self-discipline fly away with the cold weather
viva la short blunt bobs etc blab blab blab

i want to go for the lost and found egg roll competition tomorrow on primrose hill, where teams (chicken and egg) will come dressed accordingly and compete in old school games, to decide who came first: Le chicken or la egg. ridiculously fabulous.

but.. i will mostly likely be going to the airport to collect ba-zhang (glutinous rice dumplings stuffed with yummy goodness like MEAT and roasted chestnuts) from the mother and father who are stopping in en route to somewhere for a romantic easter getaway hur hur hur. happy easter (:

i fell

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 21:05:54 GMT

in love with london on saturday morning. some mornings i wake up and there's this city and it's grey and damp and piss alley (the street i live on) smells like piss. but some mornings i wake up and the sky is an unbelievable shade of blue and when i stick my hand out the window.. how warm is it, and how strong is the wind? (<-- main determinant of daily attire) it starts toasting a little on its smooth white back. right from that moment my love affair with my temperamental city is on again. she has not let me down so far, it's monday and my apartment is filled with sunlight, music, and me.

the park on saturday- you wouldn't have thought it was london, yet it was. even in the haze of a mild saturday morning hangover and squinting in the glare of the sun, pall mall to my back and the pond and pigeons to my front, i thought the scene a little surreal, like it was too nice to be london. the tulips! and tonnes of other flowers in little bursts of colour dotting my metropolis which was just the right mix of old and new that day. london's grandiose buildings lost their stuffiness for last saturday morning, almost like they let their guard down, taking a leaf from the book of the crowds of people milling about.

i only wish i had brought my camera.

anyway.. the sunshine brings to fore many impulses not often indulged. i lopped off my hair today! haha photos soon. gotta go!!

copa copenhagen..

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 18:28:49 GMT

.. was the name of the playlist for my little danish getaway. too much tacky barry manilow.. lynch me please.

went to visit good ol' sammo and nua-ed/touristed for 4 days 3 nights with him and terri (they're on nus law exchange) and well it was pretty fantastic, and i'm going to say that having/making friends there made the place infinitely more enjoyable- and because i'm a mushy lump of shit i could go on forever waxing lyrical about guitar strumming and singing and kitchen escapades and conversation and a jolly good time all round but i'll spare you and well, leave you with the pictures and little commentaries.

first off, my momma always taught me never to go to someone's home empty handed. she taught me well. here we see terri devouring the krispy kremes with her eyes.

that night we had terri's pesto/broccoli/mushroom pasta for dinner as well as sam's norwegian flounder.

and now that i've seen the little mermaid, my life is complete and i can die in peace. yup.

you might already see a trend emerging in my european getaway posts.. most of it revolves around food. here i am looking extremely gleeful with my danish open-face sandwiches. the best kind- very little bread and overflowing with the good stuff. flower prop courtesy of sam, ever adept at photo composition. and i am evidently not adept enough to rotate the other photo.. tilt your head for a change why don't you (:

more adventures to christiana, which is not some fanatic christian camp as the name would suggest but quite on the contrary, a sprawling piece of "borrowed" land by a community of hippies who insist on living life the way they did back in their heyday. they're not subject to land or tax laws and basically just exist smoking weed all day long in their slums. which could be quite idyllic really. did not manage to get the best photos because it was a dreary day and also you're not allowed to take photos of the only street worth taking photos of (pusher street).. duh.

but given that they're sitting on prime real estate (right on the river).. it's only a matter of time before eviction you flower children! oh also the dogs running around christiana are humongous. it's the weed. dog on bridge, and sam and i on our little walking tour.

bakery time! if i were to write a travel book i would cover the best local bakeries the world over. dipping my blueberry muffin in coffee, and my berry cream pancake/crepe thing.

more food. celebrated hide's (sam and terri's japanese friend) birthday in the evening complete with a singaporean attempt at okonomiyaki (japanese pancake complete with bonito flakes) and a homemade cake. our japanese guests gave us a thumbs up- solid la!

and then we eased into the night with some pseudo danish patriotism and some strumming and singing of old favourites. i know i look a little intoxicated- blame christiana visit and passive inhalation of various substances wafting about.

walked around the cobblestoned town the next day and then to the largest mall in scandinavia... but well. uh. i'm from singapore ie national sport = shopping, and i live in london so hahaha sorry scandinavia. anyway. there's sam and terri's university and me and my danish icecream. texture's a cross between gelato and ice cream, but do you really care? hahaha as you can tell, more glee. see, there is a reason why people like to eat with me.

and here we have louisiana, the unstuffiest art museum you'll ever see, which now ranks high on my list of favourite musuems. it's in the seaside town of humlaebak, 30mins outside of copenhagen and housed in a sprawling mansion with wooden shutters and glass and tonnes of natural light. heaven.

some inspiration for my fictitious future home:

sam and terri hurrying down to the beach / terri staring out to sea

me, likely texting furiously hahaha but just look at that sky / terri and i

sam and i / the three of us- remedying our sun-deprivation. oh joy!

on our way back to town, my induction into the danish way of life is complete with a hotdog from one of the hotdog stands that populate the city. sublime.

terri and sam sending me to the airport- good times. thanks guys!!

apparently

Mon, 19 Mar 2007 19:11:11 GMT

there are still people who read this!

sorry for not blogging for the past month, and thank you for the kind tagboard messages.. birthday wishes, encouragement etc and yes puj even your assertion that my cleavage has miraculously grown. such a compliment coming from the queen of all boobage, seriously. run for your money maybe? (ha ha fat hope)

i have been up to nothing much the past month apart from working my butt off at school and at work and fingers crossed my work may fly me to new york city in a few weeks for a styling assignment. no, not hairstyling sorreh wrong job. in fashion (given that you my dear friends are doctors lawyers bankers indian chiefs.. chieves [?]) styling means picking out the clothes and deciding the tone and theme of a shoot. kind of a director's job. no writing involved (shit) and (most of the time) no money either but really.. between sitting from 8am to midnight behind a computer plugging at tables and formulae (the line i would've gone into) and spending the same time handling amazing clothes and creating out-of-this-world photospreads with models, cameramen and makeup artists.. heaven.

maybe it's just important to choose to do something that comes naturally to you. and you know that when you're at work and everyone makes you look/feel fat ugly and not-quite-with-it but you still love your work you're probably going to be okay. i just blow them away with my shining intelligence haha okay i'll stop. but seriously. i work with the finest physical specimens of the human form day in and day out. i friggin' put them into their knickers (the dirty side of the work.. apart from putting together the looks and choosing clothes and directing shoots). my bosses and colleagues talk about orgies and drugs and entertain each other with torrid encounters of that stranger at the party who bonked him/her all friday night and saturday in every position imaginable. none of it interests me much. which makes my job that much harder but also a hell lot easier.

these days my appearance takes the shape of a dishevelled and unwashed art student, so no pictures. smeared makeup and grandpa sweaters, unruly hair and huge scarves. torn jeans. why did you need to know that? hahaha just use your imagination

anyway life is going to be good for the next few weeks or so. gonna write for some cool website and get some work published, going to copenhagen tomorrow for some r&r with an old, old, dear, dear friend and lone exploration (yessssssss!), then work work work (big projects due when school opens, just started easter break), perhaps new york for that styling assignment, then bologna/montecantini for international leather fair and praaaada warehouse.

but for now, back to my archiving project. much love friends. ps could i pass as an effeminate man in my new profile picture? okay weird question whatever